Grumpy Grammys.

Bosom friends!

I have been quite absent lately but I am back in full force and to celebrate I am adding an extra cup of "bitchy" to my recipe.

Last night it was Grammy night.
Or better yet, Grumpy night.
In this never ending award season I had high hopes for the music most coveted award show.
It's true what they say: you can never be disappointed if you have no expectations...
Well bosom friends I had expectations and considering we are talking about a very lucrative industry I was hoping for more bang for their bucks.

I will try to keep my comments slender, I know we all have busy lives.

Here it goes.

AD/DC opened the show. I am glad I missed that. Some say it was the best performance of the night. Unfortunately their repertoire is not my cup of tea. I am sure rock aficionados will love to hang me by my feet but what can I do, I am not a hard rock kind of chick.

Miranda Lambert performance was tight and muscular. Country music never looked so Rock 'n Roll. Nowadays they dress up Country any way they like. It's a bit disorienting at times but at least nobody dozed off while Lambert was on stage.

Madonna looked uncharacteristically happy and giddy while performing her latest anthem Living for Love. As usual she was well rehearsed and put together. She is gonna go with the Givenchy matador look this album around (watch out for all the queens following the trend, me included...).
Madge didn't offer us a groundbreaking performance but she got us shaking our booties and wonder who her plastic surgeon might be.
She is living for love and we are living to love her. Like it or not.

Lady Gaga and Tony Bennet brought us back to a time when vocals used to be paramount in a live music performance. Both their wigs looked amazing.

Bleached Gwen Stefani and peacock Adam Levine give it a good try but their voices just didn't gel together. Levine's uncanny falsetto put Stefani's smoky tone to shame. They sounded great in the studio version but to achieve that all you need is a good sound engineer and your vocal coach can take the day off.

Sia still didn't show her face. Just a glimpse of her lips and chin on the red carpet.  The singer-songwriter gave us another mysterious performance featuring a celebrity stand-in. This time it was Kristen Wiig (Bridesmaids movie). She sported the familiar Sia wig for a whimsical contemporary acting/dancing number alongside young Dance Moms wonder Maddie Ziegler (the girl REALLY is good).
A stunning and totally unforgettable moment.
That being said I think it's time to move on.
She can keep the wig but that concept has been exhausted.

Sia and Maddie.

Kristen Wiig

Sam Smith did what Adele did in 2012. Won it all (or almost).
If you think about it, he is the male version of Adele.
Same great talent, same extra pounds around the waist, same great productivity while in heartbreak mode.
Still, his live performance left a lot to be desired (funny how you don't get his lisp on the studio version of his songs...). Thank God Mary J. Blige came to his rescue.
Furthermore, the fake thanks he gave to his ex-boyfriend "I wanna thank the man I feel in love with last year for breaking my heart, you got me 4 Grammys" were just unnecessary and tacky.
Sammy you got 4 Grammys, let your triumph speaks for itself.

The act that literally put a spell on me was Annie Lennox's triumphant return to the spotlight. It's not like Annie Lennox was ever actually "gone" but sometimes you need a reminder that she's one of the great vocalists of the past 50 years and her verse transitioning into "I Put a Spell On You" was that reminder. There were a lot of superb diva performances on Sunday night, but Annie Lennox towered over all of them in both style and substance. I know my opinion is indeed partial. I have been loving Annie since her Eurythmics days but all I can say is "Long live Annie."

Amazing Annie.

Prince graced us all with his presence and that's all he actually did. He wore a horrific retirement home outfit made of a material that was screaming dance-competition. Frizzy fro and round glasses completed the outfit. Never mind he got a standing ovation just for showing up. I await his next album with bated breath. He gave the award for best album of the year to yet another coffee-shop-background-music band. Nobody cared.

Best album Beck and Prince.

Beyonce and Katy Perry both looked polished beyond reality but both their performances acted as the well known "wet blanket". Great motivation behind both their song choice but I did not need any of that.

Pharrell Williams is still happy and singing about it. Good for him.

Common and John Legend performing a song from the movie Selma (it wasn't eligible for this year's Grammys), put everybody out of their misery. Literally.
I turned off my TV 30 seconds into their performance.
I won't say anything more, I have no desire to be called a racist since I am not one.
It's not about color, it's about poor and dull award show structure.
There is still next year...
Enough said.

Ciao for now.