The bold golden man who carries a sword.

Bosom friends,

I would like to thank the director, my family and the academy for this honor...

This was my first live Oscar ceremony in the US of A.

I was pretty excited about the whole extravaganza but I did not make it to the end of the show...actually I did not make it past 10 PM. Bummer. YouTube rules.

I will be very brief (the show was long enough) no one needs additional lingering over the subject.

Host.
Neil Patrick Harris was as cute as a button. His opening number was everything that a gay man could dream of. Unfortunately some rather weak writing let him down. Neil's jokes made Oprah uncomfortable and what wasn't completely bad was just passable.
This year host best and worst moment were both wrapped in one: while I was very happy to see him in his tidy whiteys I felt the whole gimmick was just silly. In any case the wink to the Best Movie winner Bird Man was delightfully sexy.  Love and hate? Yen and yang? All I know is that Neil looked just fine.

Red carpet.
I don't know about you but I love a deliciously hideous frock.
This year all the gals were quite well behaved. Elena Bonham Carter didn't attend the soiree tough.
-Best: Emma Stone. Hats off to the team that puts her together.

-Worst: Marion Cotillard. Her dress looked like the one that the three fairies were trying to saw for Aurora in Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

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-Special mention: Jennifer Lopez, her dress was again everything a gay man could dream of.

Acceptance speeches
 -Best: Patricia Arquette.  Arquette made the Oscars political by saying:
 "It's our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the Unite Sattes of America."
She got Meryl Streep jumping on her chair and we know that when Streep approves we all approve too.

-Worst: all the other "nobody really cares" awards winners were rather forgettable.
-Special mention: Pawel Pawlikowski director of the best foreign language film. He did not give a fuck about the music coming in to signal that he had exhausted the time allowed for his speech. He just kept on going like a life size windup doll. Not necessary. I would have taken his award back. Actually the Academy should make that a rule: If your speech is dull or too long your award will be taken back and given to the runner up. Basically we should let Meryl Streep do all of the speeches just to be safe.

Guest hosts. 
Best: Shirley Maclaine is still alive and kicking. Thank the lord for her majesty Julie Andrews, she is distilled class. 

Shirley Maclaine.

Julie Andrews.

-Worst and special mention: John Travolta and Idina Menzel. They made peace (Travolta last year announce Menzel as Adele Dazeem) but he fucked it all up again by touching Idina's face way too much in a sort of creepy-crawly kind of way. He just wouldn't let go of her face. Let it go John, let it go. You messing up her name bothered her anyway.
Also Travolta was wearing a wig worthy of an even bigger special mention: Ru Paul wants his hair piece back. He looked like a Cryogenic science experiment. The overall Madame Tussuad effect was not aesthetically pleasing.

Guest entertainers.
-There was only one best, the rest disappeared in comparison.
Lady Gaga. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Her medley from The Sound of Music made that stage alive with the sound of music indeed.
She is proof that talent conquers all.

Thank God Kanye West didn't jump on stage to claim an Oscar for Beyonce. Thank you Jesus for sparing our souls.

I will leave you with one dilemma:
What the hell was happening on Reese Witherspoon's forehead? (ET call home...)

That's all Folks!

Ciao for now.