Say it with a shell.

You can find Christmas in everything.
And I mean everything.
And it can come in many forms. From funny, to creepy. Stylish to tacky. Chic to kitsch.

On my last trip to Home Goods I found the eternal fountain of supplies concerning home decor and decor abuse.
A stuffed cornucopia of marked down items crammed on shelves in the hope of being picked up and  given a new home. Just like sad puppies in a municipal pet pound. Or happy puppies, depending on their looks obviously. The ugly puppies know they better have a nice personality or it's over. A pretty puppy can afford to look sad. A not so cute one must put on a good show. Wag that tale, walk on two paws, dance to "Who Let the Dogs Out" kind of routine. There is no business like adoption business.

I was ready to make part of our family ( all my sisters and me ) an unfortunate reject of the retail business. I was looking for the "Annie" of Christmas decorations. An off beat item, but with personality. Preferably with musical skills included.
A Christmas ornament that said Holidays but with a Miami/Puertorican/Cuban twang. A statement piece that reminded me that it really is the "most wonderful time of the year" even though it is 80 degrees outside.
Well I was in for a treat.
I actually found more than I could handle.
But images in this case do speak volumes so here we go with the first one.

The "the bigger the better" ball.

Here in Miami everything must be of a sizable dimension. From boob implants to what is hanging on your Christmas tree. No excuses. People need to see what you've got. Astronauts orbiting the planet have to be able to see the Great Wall of China and your latest purchase.

We can't have Santa Claus thinking we are of modest extraction. Go big or go home. As long as it is at least 2000 sqf.

The "gilded nativity snow globe".

A touch of Caesar Palace in Vegas and Versailles never killed anyone.

The "politically correct nativity".

In Italy the Vatican ( and all their famously bonkers homosexual painters ) have always brain washed me into thinking that the Holy Family was very Caucasian. Aryan in fact. I am glad I had a hard dose of reality. Live and learn.

Chuckie the snowman.

Probably it will come to life on Christmas Eve and try to strangle you with his fuzzy scarf. Available in central America only. T&C's applies.

Say it with a shell.

A maritime twist on your otherwise boring tree. And you can hear the ocean too.

The life size Reindeers.

Because if you are not going to creep out your children who will?

Also available the adult version "Exhibitionist reindeer" with fully detachable coat ( male specimen only ).

The "transsexual deer".

I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth a damn,
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am." Hohohohohoh...

The "I know it's Christams but you still need to wash your hands after you've gone to the bathroom" soap dispenser.

Make your effort to fight germs more festive.

Take your "crazy cat lady" life style to the next level.

The "truck in a globe"

If you need to connect with your butch side. Or you if you are Chad Bono.

The "grumpy nutcracker".

The "grumpy bee-keep nutcracker".

You wouldn't be so happy either if you had to spend your holidays cracking nuts.

All I want for Christmas is a Jew.

   

Can you drink eggnog in those?

Shalom to all our Jewish friends.

But most important never be afraid of interpreting the holidays your own way.

I still don't know what this holiday season has in "storage" for me but for sure I know I won't put the decoration back into storage until mid February. Guilty as charged. Whom is without procrastination throw the first stone.

Ciao for now.