how about we start the week with a lovely history lesson about the origin of the word Prohibition?
You'll love it. Trust me on this one.
First things first let's open our vocabulary:
pro·hi·bi·tion
ˌprō(h)əˈbiSH(ə)n/
- the action of forbidding something, especially by law.
"they argue that prohibition of drugs will always fail"
synonyms: banning, forbidding, prohibiting, barring, debarment, vetoing, proscription, interdiction, outlawing - a law or regulation forbidding something.plural noun: prohibitions
I do love what this word has done to the many pleasures we are not suppose to enjoy.
When it comes to prohibited stuff we all go back to our teenager years way of thinking very fast. When something is forbidden it instantaneously gains an allure of desirability that makes us think we have to get a piece of it otherwise our lives are not worth living. Just like very hormonal beings we tend to not give a shit about the big sign that says "prohibited" and we go ahead and give in as if that sign said "go ahead, it's only prohibited because it is worth the hassle".
Here in Miami this word (and more generally its concept) has been made popular in a few ways that are as compatible as Liza Minnelli and sobriety.
That is why when I found out that here in Miami there is an actual establishment called "Prohibition" my fancy got more than tickled. My fancy was properly aroused.
Walking by this building in Midtown during closing hours was like walking by one of those Pandora Boxes kind of premises where the exterior sort of gives its content away but more than anything only instigate you to make the necessary arrangements to get in it.
Eventually in I got.
Mind you, a restaurant, is a restaurant, is a restaurant.
Pretty decor, lovely food and nice vibe. I would hope so, since no restaurant in Miami comes cheap.
They even have a flat screen over the bar playing 20's and 30's themed movies on a loop. You know, gangster flicks a-la Great Gatsby. To be perfectly honest I do not need to have a view of people getting shot dead with my lobster croquettes, but I do see where they were going with that.
What really caught my attention was their staff.
Their male staff.
Now I do really care about good service. I take for granted that if you are paying for a meal your food should be amazing. What makes a difference is the experience that is provided with your chow.
Please take a look at the Prohibition's experience below:
Say whaaaat???
They look like they are all from the Blair Hipster Project.
Mind you, they look way better in person as well.
You want to grab onto one of their suspenders and never let go.
They also have that attitude that is typical of men when they are aware of their handsome looks with a dash of coolness about it because you know, they are hipsters after all. Cool to the bitter end.
The waipsters (waiters+hipsters that is how I will refer to them from now on) are attentive but not servile, they are swift but they never loose their composure. Waipsters listen to your needs but don't take any shit. In other words they are the restaurant staff counterpart of the best lovers you could possibly bump into.
Their very precise hair and beard cuts make you only wonder even more if their carpets match the tidiness of their drapes. Waipsters are all in tip top shape and the white fitted shirts they sport, together with those black slim fit pants make you appreciate their toned frames but also notice that they are not gym bunnies because you know, they are hipsters after all.
Waipsters pearly whites are renowned and every time they smile at you their final tip increases by 5%. Trust me, you will feel very inclined to reward the fairness of their assets.
They do look like they went through a casting process to be chosen as waipsters, and I am grateful to whomever hired them. Thank you from the bottom of my bosom.
Go check them out at Prohibition 3404 N Miami Ave, Miami, FL 33127 and if any modeling scout should read this, you are welcome. I won't even charge you my finding fees.
Here is one more waipsters portrait for the road.
After all this deliciousness I will serve you a bite of bitter.
As I was saying before I got caught reminiscing about pretty waiting staff, there is a different way to interpreter prohibition here in Miami.
At a recent Miami Beach city commission meeting, mayor Philip Levine proposed banning outdoor alcohol sales throughout the city after 2 AM — meaning no more late night $40 margarita bowls and $19 mixed drinks at bustling sidewalk restaurants or outdoor bars on the tourist strip.
Levine wasn't shy about why he's pushing the change: He thinks Ocean Drive is a drunken, disgusting mess. In his own words Ocean Drive "It's turning into a terrible place that's become a blight, a cancer that spreads to our entire city."
"We want to have a great party atmosphere," he said. "But a controlled party atmosphere. A safe party atmosphere."
After yesterday's discussion Miami Beach's city attorney is set to draft an ordinance, which the commission will then consider in May.
Are we now trying to tame Miami Beach al fresco?
It is true that Ocean Drive is not a pretty sight when the party animals tourists take over but prohibiting the outdoor sale of booze after 2 AM I don't think is going to transform South Beach into Disney World.
Controlled party atmosphere???
It's like saying let's have an organized zombie apocalypse.
A progressive Republican Party.
The talented Kardashians.
Oxymorons I tell you. Only oxymorons (combines two opposite qualities or ideas and therefore seems impossible, I saved you a trip to Google).
Perhaps they should prohibit tacky sun burns tan lines displayed by the occasional light skinned North European tourist.
Also Crocks and Birkenstock sandals of any shape or form should be prohibited on the Miami party strip together with loud bombastic flashy leased sport cars and the morons who feel like somebody while driving them at pedestrian peace down "Ocean".
I personally would love to prohibit human stupidity and lack of better judgement.
A recent string of embarrassing crimes on Ocean Drive surely hasn't helped the iconic strip's image but alcohol only magnifies the idiotic behavior of some buffoons.
You cannot prevent imbecility from happening.
It's a trade mark of many and it's not going anywhere.
An idiot, is an idiot, is an idiot.
I will now glance at the waipsters picture in a dream like daze for a few minutes to restore my faith in humanity.
Ciao for now.
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