Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Guilty Pleasure.

Bosom friends!

Since hubby is away on a business trip I have more time than usual to squander on my favorite guilty pleasures airing on the Lifetime channel: Dance Moms and Bring it!

These two "docuseries" (fancy made up word for reality show) are both about the dance competition world and they both highlight the highs and lows of the competitive dance season as the dancers pursue the ultimate title (or any title as long as it comes with a tacky trophy). The teachers instruct their students while dealing with the over-the-top mothers who go to great lengths to help their children's dreams (or are they the mothers' dreams and the children's nightmares?) come true. The shows capture the dynamic interplay between parent, teacher and student as their mentors try to bring out the best in their students. 
It almost sounds sane.
Until you tune in.
The main difference is that Dance Moms is very Caucasian (with the exception of the one black girl chosen to oblige to some diversity standards) and Bring it! is indeed very Shaniqua.
Dance Moms feature Abby Lee Miller who runs the Abby Lee Dance Company in Pittsburgh, which she started when she was 14. Miller is a notoriously demanding and passionate instructor. But she has competition in the area of being demanding -- from her students' mothers. The girls are actually lovely with the exception  of the random I will do anything to get into showbiz kid who is enabled by an overweight mother with very poor fashion sense. The rest of the Pittsburgh moms use most of the oxygen to bleach their teased hair instead of consuming it to make their brains function properly. 
They all mean well but they end up looking like the guy in The Shining as soon as they start arguing with one of their fellow Dance Moms or with larger than life (figuratively and factually) Abby Lee.
In Dance Moms the mothers can keep their designer purses nice and warm in the viewing room cleverly allocated just above the rehearsal studio. Seen from that window they must look like a tank full of suburban piranha.
There are indeed many Louis Vuitton purses carried around and even more sour one-liners spat out with the precision of a seasoned mean girl. I would like to thank the editors of this program for keeping the bickering content so juicy.
Oh I forgot to tell you that the poor girls dance their butts off while the rest of the grown-ups sit around and bitch.
Please enjoy the below show ads.





My second guilty pleasure is Bring it! 
When you're competing at the highest levels, hip-hop majorette competitions can be surprisingly intense. The Dancing Dolls of Jackson, MS, is one of the top dance troupes in the country. The troupe was founded by Dianna Williams, aka Miss D.
This docuseries (here is that word again...) shows what the Dolls go through to get to the top of their game and, they hope, the top of their competitions. Each episode follows the dancers and their mothers as they prepare for competitions, parades and showcases. The episodes culminate in nail-biting battles against their biggest rivals.  
Good Lord.
It all sounds very gangsta'.
Needless to say all the cast members of Bring it! are extremely loud and weave equipped. In this show nobody is pretending to like each other as in Dance Moms. 
They ain't got time for that.
In Bring it! the mothers are allowed to watch the classes only from the outside no matter the temperature registered. The bitching is only permitted al fresco
Here as well the girls are dancing their butts off while the grown-ups keep on oh-snapping at each other and act like they were Beyonce at the Grammys. 
Those girls really bring it, their mothers only bring their hair pieces.
No weave is safe.





At lest these two shows are about somebody showcasing some talent and a good amount of passion for what they do. Those other reality focused on people eating salads and using one too many "like" in a sentence are far worse and let's face it, they are as stale as an 80's macho-crap commercial.

Yes, these two docuseries are nothing but the glorified whores of reality TV but to each their own.

In true Bring it! spirit "if you don't like it then you shouldn't put a ring on it!"

Ciao for now.

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