Guess who's back.

Bosom friends!

I am puzzled today.

Indulge me in this consideration.

I just saw on TV that Monica Lewinsky tackled cyberbullying in TED Talk.

From kneeling for a president to lecturing and denouncing the “industry” of collective shaming.

Here is an extract from Vanity Fair:

Monica Lewinsky took to the stage in Vancouver giving a TED Talk on cyberbullying.
Lewinsky shared personal anecdotes from her life, and recounted her experiences as one of the earliest victims of cyberbullying. At the age of 22, Lewinsky—then a White House intern—engaged in an affair with President Bill Clinton. The story emerged online in 1998, just as the Internet was coming of age as a tool for the rapid dissemination of information—and potential weapon for reputation destruction.
“This scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution,” Lewinsky said on Thursday. After a decade away from the public eye, Lewinsky returned with a stirring, National Magazine Award–nominated essay in Vanity Fair. The piece, in which Lewinsky lamented today’s “culture of humiliation,” helped spur on a national conversation about cyberbullying.
“Public humiliation is a commodity and shame is an industry,” she said. “And what is the currency? Clicks.” Lewinsky, who is the subject of a lengthy New York Times profile that was published on Thursday, asked Internet users to try and “#ClickWithCompassion.”
“I am deeply grateful to Chris Anderson and the amazing TED family, staff and attendees, for giving me this opportunity,” Lewinsky said in a statement after her speech. “I hope that today we have taken a step further in the fight against cyberbullying and harassment and that people know that you can insist on a different ending.”

It's all good.

Now I would like to ask Monica where she think she would be today if it wouldn't have been for the sexual scandal she was involved over a decade ago. I am not asking the question with a sarcastic tone.
I am genuinely curios.
After all is said and done she did have an affair with a VERY public figure, a married man who was living in a very white house handling a huge amount of power.
She didn't "shake things up" with one of the gardeners of the White House. No. Her eyes didn't wonder on one of the five full-time chefs who cook for the presidential compound. None of the other 3,300 West Wing's full time staff members were worthy of Lewinsky special TLC.
She could have had a whole lot of fun with any other "regular" guy and nobody would have given half a shit.
But she didn't.
At the time she choose to have a mutual relationship with Bill Clinton.
To action there are consequences and the consequences are proportional to all the factors that need to be considered in the equation.
Monica said “This scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution”.
I feel like that scandal was brought to us by a 22 years old consenting intern and a 49-year-old married United States president.

This is how, in a "witt-full" written speech, she addresses her youthful mistake:

"Now I admit I made mistakes — especially wearing that beret — but the attention and judgment that I received — not the story, but that I personally received — was unprecedented, I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo and, of course, 'that woman.' I was known by many, but actually known by few. I get it. It was easy to forget 'that woman' was dimensional and had a soul."

"Public humiliation as a blood sport has to stop," Lewinsky told the audience. "We need to return to a long-held value of compassion and empathy."

"Anyone who is suffering from shame and public humiliation needs to know one thing: you can survive it," she said. "I know it's hard. It may not be painless, quick or easy, but you can insist on a different ending to your story."

Some have questioned the timing of Lewinsky's return to public life, as it coincides with the ramp-up to Hillary Clinton's expected presidential run. But Lewinsky said during her talk she was spurred to speak out when she saw how damaging cyberbullying could be. 

What is happening is that Lewinsky is trying to revamp her image big time with a crusade against cyberbullying.

I do have perfect mastery of the long-held value of compassion and empathy (as mentioned by Lewinsky). I use plenty of that for human beings who are on their knees for other issues. People who have to deal with the shame-ridden cyberspace too but differently from Lewinsky, didn't necessarily get themselves in such conundrums. 

Monica is now parading around, perfectly airbrushed and rehearsed telling us how much her affair took away from her life. She is eventually turning shit into gold.

Vanity Fair article.

But what else could has she done?

Finding a job with such a brand glued on her was not an option.
Monica had to find an alternative way to make a living and for her spirit of initiative and clever wit I do applaud her.
I am trying to be a better person by not letting her past influence my humble opinion.
I really am.
But I can't help hearing all of the other voices in my head.

I see a clever girl who knew exactly what she was doing. She just choose to oversee the fact that the man in question was married and the President of the USA.
Yes, the way she was publicly stigmatized was horrible but as I said action=consequence.
She did put herself in that position of vulnerability.
I find difficult to see her as a fair representative for all the other who are suffering because of cyberbullying.

What about Hillary? The betrayed wife???
What about Chelsea? The disappointed daughter???

Why aren't they giving speeches about the repercussion of Bill's "needs" on their lives?

Paraphrasing Monica: 
with every marital indiscretion that finds its way into the public sphere (many of which involve male politicians) the men do what they need to do to look humiliated and remorseful. They bow out of public life for a while, but they inevitably return, having put it all behind them.  
It always seems like the woman conveniently takes the fall. The women in these "incidents" return to lives that are not so easily repaired.  

Women end up being the tramps or the emotionally unavailable wives.
Monica did get the shitty end of the stick because she was the woman in the affair and Bill didn't have to carry that cross for more than a few months, but what did we expect?
The President of the United States has a whole team whit the sole purpose of preserving the way that the public perceives him.
Monica only had a blue dress and a bad beret.

I think we should let Monica live her life with dignity and respect like anybody else but I am knee deep into a personal debate.
Where do I stand in regards of betrayal and what ever comes after it?
Redemption after the fall?
Calculation or genuine actions?
Shame and survival?
I feel like being a bitch towards Lewinsky but when I read her side of the story I felt also inclined to punch Bill in his scrotum.

Just like Natalie Imbruglia in the late 90's I am thorn.

What I know is that I am done and dusted with this blow-job stigma.
Let's all move on peeps.

Ciao for now.